Without the Shields
by The Demon's Song
Summary: I used to think being a vampire would be easy. Now... well, I'm the only thing standing between 3 young vampires and a massacre, I'm falling in love with Edward again, and the Volturi have taken an interest in my coven. Um... oops? R&R, please.
1. Memories

**Hi! This is the prologue for my first Twilight fic. **

**Oh, and I will ramble for this chapter. This is all about Bella, trying to get her story straight. The next chapter, however, is where the real story begins. I'm sorry this is so vague.**

**Disclaimer: Unless my name has suddenly changed itself to Stephenie Meyer, I don't own anyone, for the moment, but Sephie. You'll meet my other OC's later.**

They are making me write this down.

I'm not surprised, what with all that has been going on. I mean, how would posterity believe us if we didn't place this on paper, record it officially?

Not that I really need to worry about posterity. I can't have kids, so strictly speaking it won't be _my_ posterity.

But this is completely off topic, and Alice and Sephira have both assured me that I don't have that long. There is a plane, in maybe a few hours, and this has to be done by then.

Or I'll have to swim the ocean to get back home, and that whole concept is completely romanticized. I mean, the water is cold in the winter. Even people like, well, me, can get cold. If I count as a person.

I'm rambling. I know that.

It's just that I don't know where to start.

I mean, most stories have a clear beginning and end. Main character has a plain, boring life, and suddenly she's dragged into a magical adventure.

Well, even before this really should start, I could talk about meeting Edward. That was definitely not boring. Since I'd met him, my life had been about as close to boring as the north pole is to the south. But that is a whole different story, one best left for those who know how to tell it.

All I know is how to tell my story, and I hardly even know that. As you could probably tell by my meandering topics.

But if I had to guess, I would guess it started with Forks.

Forks. I know I said I would stay on topic, but I feel a deep need to reminisce.

I hated Forks, at first. And then came Edward—and let me tell you, Forks was great for a while, so long as he was there. One day, though, he wasn't. And then, on top of it all, this whole mess started...

Let's just say that I hated Forks for a long, long time. About five years, since the accident.

Which is really what I should be talking about.

Incident is a better word than accident...

Oh, hell, I'm going to stop skirting around the topic, and just come out and say it.

I'm a vampire.

Yes, you can breathe now. I'm not pretending, though it might have been worth it just to see you keel over in—what, shock? Doubt? God, Jasper is much better than me at this.

Yes, vampires are real. No, we don't sleep in coffins or die in sunlight. We have reflections, and we show up on camera.

And the light thing? To make a long story short, we don't die, we... sparkle, for lack of a better word. Wow, I suddenly feel rather like Elmo.

But that isn't the point, either.

So yes, I, Isabella Marie Swan, am a vampire.

And you, dear audience, are going to have to believe this fact.

How do I know someone will read this at all? Because of Sephira. And Alice, really, but for a long time Alice and I were on bad terms.

Still, I should really start telling my story now. It started earlier this year...

**'K , I know this was short and vague, but please review.**

**Why? Because living at the bottom of this very page is a little button named Periwinkle. He owns a nice little house and he has little button-children with his button-wife. And it is his job to get reviews. But, sob, he has none right now. Don't make him starve on the streets! Review for Periwinkle's sake!**

**Lots of love to those of you who do.**

**Oh, and please:**

**No Flames!!!**


	2. If High School Was Bad The 1st Time

**Well, industrious little writing machine that I am, I have another chapter ready. And you know, nothing fuels writing machines like reviews (hint, hint), so please R&R.**

**Millions of thanks to Rissa again: I couldn't have this done without her.**

**Disclaimer: 'K guys, I'm not going to start owning Twilight anytime soon, unless someone up there really, really likes me. If I do start owning it, you will be amongst the first to know, but until then, this is a waste of space.**

The morning was foggy, the sort of mist that makes you blind to everything outside of a five foot radius, and I was awake.

I walked blearily to the car, sliding in the driver's door and muttering about being woken up.

Technically, I hadn't really been woken up. I hadn't slept in over ten years.

But I had been dragged out of bed to go to high school.

Again.

I glanced into the backseat, regarding my would-be siblings, and there they were, three of my coven in various states of awareness.

Chris stared at his reflection in the window, gold-black eyes shining eerily in comparison to his wind-blown looking blond hair and pale skin. He noticed my gaze, acknowledging me with the barest nod of his head.

Angel's eyes were much closer to black, although she didn't seem hungry, and her long black hair cascaded down her back as always.

Merry's eyes looked golden, though the faintest hints of red still remained from her first three years as a carnivore. They had taken on the typical tawny color since she'd become a "vegetarian." She smiled at me, fixing her gorgeous red-blond hair.

"All right." I addressed my younger siblings. "We're going. But remember, we all have to be careful. If they find out..."

"We get it, Bella," Chris said with a fake yawn. "You can relax. We're not hungry—though you know full well that it wouldn't matter if we were—and I'm to watch Mer at all times. Just drive, Bells."

I cast one last glance into the mirror. I was paler than I had been as a human, with topaz colored eyes and golden-brown hair. I knew, despite the bruised-looking shadows under my eyes and on my nose, that I was more beautiful than I had been alive.

"Bella... drive."

"Right."

I put the car into reverse, pulling out of our driveway and turning carefully onto the road.

I drove cautiously, hanging around seventy miles per hour so that school would come a little slower.

"You're driving slow again, Bells."

"No undead backseat drivers."

For some reason, however, the school parking lot appeared a lot sooner than I'd planned.

I put my car into park, stepping out. "So here we are. At high school. Again."

I sighed. "Oh hell, this is going to be a long week."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I know I'm interrupting the flow of my own story, but I've forgotten a really big part of my story: why, where, and who.

Basically, this whole thing started when Edward left.

I was in love with him. And not just a mortal sort of love: the kind that would span centuries, span eternity itself.

But I guess he didn't see it that way. Because he left me.

I'll admit it: things were really bad for a while. I became a sort of zombie, refusing to do anything that reminded me of him.

Not that I wanted to forget him. I was sort of unclear about that part. I mean, for my heart's sake, I couldn't bear to forget him; for my sanity's sake, I couldn't bear to remember him.

So I started being the ultimate un-Bella. I hung out with the wrong sort of people, partied a lot, dyed my hair black, thought about getting tattoos.

My father hated it. We had an enormous fight, which ended up with him disowning me and me falling asleep on the streets.

Where I woke up three days later with a wicked headache, and a significant lack of a pulse.

I lost it, completely. I went on a killing spree: I was no more than an animal.

Which, really, is why Nate and Sephira found me.

They were vampires too. They told me there was another way, that I didn't have to live off of people—which I already knew, but had forgotten.

So I went with them. Can't say I did it quietly, but I went. The powers of a newborn are slightly less than the power of two experienced vampires.

Nate and Sephira, however, were no ordinary vampires.

Nate had this really peculiar ability. He never thirsted after humans, which was awesome in terms of an ability. His immortal body was frozen around 27, so he was sort of a father to me.

And Sephira... she could sleep, actually sleep. What's more, every time she chose to sleep, she had psychic dreams. Her body is 26, so she's somewhat of my 'mother' figure.

My ability, we discovered, was odd as well. I made shields.

Not physical ones, dear reader. Oh no.

Mental shields, that had the power to block other vampiric abilities.

So, around me, vampires can't read minds, or move fast, or be thirsty, unless I want them to.

And that, reader, is very useful.

On the other hand, it isn't perfect. I lose control over my shields when I get too emotional.

During a slip-up, I accidentally changed Chris. Chris is a mind reader, just like Edward.

And Chris changed Angel—Evangeline, really, but she hates her full name—before we managed to track him down.

So the coven grew in numbers.

Merry we found in much the same way I was found. She was going crazy, attacking pretty much anything that moves.

After some coaxing—and, all right, so I hit her twice. Or three times. Or six...—she agreed to come with us.

Angel, by the way, can change the weather. Which rocks, because we never need to worry about the sun.

And Meredith—please, please don't tell her I called her that—has another odd power. Her hands destroy anything they come into contact with.

Six years later, Nate and Sephie enrolled us in high school on Long Island.

Now, let us take a moment to look at this equation. Four young vampires, each barely able to control their thirst without my help, are unleashed into a community full of humans.

Not to mention that one of them reads minds, and one has killer hands.

And what, exactly, stands between them and the massacre of the entire student body?

Oh, just one vampire—in an eighteen year old body, no less—who can only keep them tame so long as she stays emotionless.

And where, exactly, are they going?

Oh, just high school, the only place practically guaranteed to make her emotional.

And I thought high school was bad the first time around.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

So there we were, the first day of school.

I lead my siblings towards what seemed to be an office, feeling rather like the head of a parade. We trekked at mortal speed to the stupid office, taking our schedules and a little slip we had to get signed.

Just as we were journeying back to class, however, my phone rang.

Had I been mortal, I probably would have managed to drop my books, break the phone, and fall down the nearest set of stairs, all in the attempt to answer it.

But I had left my clumsy nature behind with my mortality, so I actually managed to slide it neatly out of its case and flip it open.

"Hello?," I said, pressing it to my ear.

"Bella? It's Sephira."

"Oh, hi, mom." I winced at the word 'mom', but shook it off.

"Listen, Bells. I was sleeping, right, and I had a vision. It's about your school."

Somewhere behind me, a bell rang. "Oh, shoot. Look, Sephie," I said, falling back on her nickname, "I've got to go. Bell just rang."

My siblings had all left for their respective classes—Chris and Angel were sophomores, and Merry was a freshman, while I was a junior—so I was left alone to hurtle towards my classes, trying not to be late.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Of course, I was late all the same.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I could have been on time, but I didn't want to go too fast and alert the mortals.

So I was late on my first day of classes. Any normal teacher would have forgiven this.

Mrs. Carter, however, would have none of it.

She stood, trying to be intimidating—intimidate a vampire, ha—and looked at me disapprovingly. It was obviously supposed to be a Death Glare, but its effects probably would have been more effective if A) I hadn't known I could rip her apart with my pinkie, and B) she wasn't the approximate height of a Munchkin in the Wizard of Oz.

"Hello," she said icily, "and who do you think you are, coming late on the first day of class?"

I stood tall, straightening myself out. Had I been mortal, I would have blushed and muttered my name quietly.

But, I wasn't, was I?

So I looked her right in the eye, and said, "My name is Isabella Swan, and I'm new. Oh, don't you think my parents will be so pleased to hear you were so_ tolerant_," I paused, stressing the words, "about me being late on my very first day?"

She drew in a hissing breath, and laughter came from the back of the room.

"Miss Swan, this kind of behavior is..."

I cut her off with a smile. "No need to get in a huff. Just sign here, please."

I handed her the slip and beamed in her general direction.

The laughter came louder this time.

With a repeat of the evil glare, she signed the piece of paper and seated me near the back.

Right next to a girl named Gabriella.

Gabriella was a loose-lipped mortal who managed to tell me her life's story in about a minute. She spoke in bursts, too, throwing all her words together.

"HellomynameisGabriella. You'reBella,right,wellI'msurewehavesomuchincommon. Doyoulikehorses,becauseIraceandIthinkthey'rewonderful..."

It took all my will power not to strangle the girl.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I was glad when class ended—the first to slip out of the room. _ Gabriella will have to wait 'til first period tomorrow to torture me_, I thought happily.

That wasn't true, unfortunately. Gabriella was in all of my classes, right up until lunch.

Lunch, however, was uneventful. I had it fifth period with Angel and Chris: we all bought our props and sat, staring out the windows.

Apparently news spreads fast on the teacher's grapevines, because all my teachers after lunch seemed to be wary of me.

It was laughable—they should have been worried, but not for the reasons they were thinking of.

By eighth period I had a real reputation.

Mr. Parson was a mousy looking man, who seemed determined to speak less than three words the whole period. He signed my slip, waved me to a seat, and indicated that I should sit down.

_This isn't so bad, _I thought, copying down the rules of the class. _It's my first day, and it's almost over. I'm fine._

Two minutes later, however, another newcomer came crashing into the room. "Sorry I'm late, Mr. Parson. I got a bit lost."

I gasped involuntarily.

It was his voice—soft and smooth, like velvet—and his bronze colored hair...

"Edward..." The name escaped my lips as a mere whisper, but he heard and spun towards me.

"Bella?" He asked just as quietly, leaving many members of the class clueless as to what had occurred.

And suddenly, I was distinctly _not_ fine. I was mad and I was confused, and my emotions clumped together in my head, fighting each other to reach the surface...

"Mr. Parson, I suddenly don't feel well, may I go to the nurse?"

Glad to be rid of me, he nodded.

I stormed out of the room, struggling to keep my composure, racing through the hallways.

And he was behind me.

"Bella!"

"Go away, Edward!"

I flipped open my phone, calling Nate.

Three rings... and then an answer. "Hello?"

"Nate, I'm losing my shields. Get them out. Please, Nate, get them out."

And then I hung up on him, striding across the grounds.

Mortal eyes were watching me, following me and Edward both, because to them this would seem a fight between two perfect people...

Then I was in the car, speeding away.

Sephira's message came to mind, '_I had a vision. It's about your school.'_

I gritted my teeth, clenching the steering wheel.

Sephie had some explaining to do.

**Does it make a little more sense now, my lovelies?**

**Well, Periwinkle is doing nicely now, thanks to all of you. He sends his love and wants to tell you that he's been promoted. Now, just a few more reviews will get him out of his desk job and into helping run the company.**

**And I know Bella probably seems a little OOC. But I picture her like this, if she had a little more confidence. I mean, really. She knows she is strong, smart, beautiful and no longer clumsy, and she's bloody well gonna show it.**

**No Flames!!!**


	3. You Can't Always Get What You Want

**Hello!!! It's Song!**

**Thanks again to Rissa, my super-duper-ultra-cool beta. Without her, this chapter would never have happened.**

**Fair warning, Bella will be a little OOC in this chapter, but only because she's really mad. 'K, well, read, please!**

**Disclaimer: I now officially own Twilight! Yay! (Turns over in bed, wakes up. ) Damn.**

It took me about three minutes to get home.

Of course, if I had been caught, I would have been ticketed about a thousand times over. But really, who could blame me for not obeying the speed limit; I'd been going too fast to read the signs.

I fishtailed my car around a corner, coming to a neat stop right in front of the house. It was on an empty, peaceful road, and was a great size.

But I was furious, and suddenly glad that Angel controlled the weather and not me. I might have just sent down hail, or balls of fire, or a giant rock that would land on Edward-freaking-Cullen's perfect head and get him the hell out of my new life.

Instead, I was content to take out my anger on the screen door, which flew off its hinges and came to rest on the lawn.

Oops.

Fortunately for the oak front door, Sephie wrenched it open before I could demolish it as well.

"Come in, Bella."

o0o0o0o0o0o0

The kitchen was bright, meant to cheer up anyone inside it.

Yeah right. Like a pissed off vampire would care about the color of the wall paper.

And believe me, reader, when I say that I. Was. Pissed. Off.

So I paced, and Sephie looked on anxiously. "Look, Bells..," she said, running a hand through her hair, "if I had known that this would cause so much trouble, I would have gotten you home immediately. All I wanted to tell you was that a new coven had moved in. Do you know them?"

I whirled on her, letting my words flow. "Do I know them? Do I know them? Well there is a really freaking smart question. Oh, no, Sephie, I don't know them, I'm just furious for no freaking reason. Cause you know, I'm just _so_ prone to fury. Yeah, I know them, fangs-for-brains."

"Bella..."

"Don't you Bella me, Sephira Christine Cross Tyson. Oh no. Because you saw them coming, and you didn't even bother to warn me."

"If I'd known you cared so much..."

"Cared. Key word. I used to care. Before they all freaking left me in that middle-of-nowhere town and I was changed into a vampire. That tends to put a damper on _caring_."

"Then why does it matter?"

"It matters, Sephira," I hissed, not yet done with my rampage, "because every time I see Edward Anthony Mason Cullen's perfect face, I'm reminded that I'm dead because of him. I'm reminded that this guy, who claimed to love me, left me to die, okay? I'm reminded that I loved him until the day I died, and that for some reason, I still freaking care. And I lose. My. Freaking. Shields."

"Oh."

"Yeah. 'Oh' about covers it."

I sighed, dropping into a kitchen chair.

"Look, Bella, I didn't know."

"How could you not know? You're the one with the freaking visions!"

"Yeah, Bella, I have visions. But what good are the visions when you won't talk to us? You haven't told us about your past, and we've respected your need for space. But you somehow seem to think that we know everything! How would we, when you won't tell us anything?"

Sephie ended up screaming as well, which I knew she hated. So I stayed quiet, and counted to ten. And eleven. And then twenty. And then one hundred and twenty two.

Finally, though, I felt peaceful enough to talk. "Right."

Though I couldn't see her face, I knew it wasn't enough.

With another sigh, I looked up at her. "I'm sorry, Sephie. I was never mad at you. Just annoyed."

Before she could answer, I slipped out of the room. "I have school. Gotta go. I'm just going to ignore him the best I can."

The door stood faithfully in front of me, like a test of my concentration.

I opened it, and shut it carefully, looking sheepishly at the screen door on the lawn.

But hey, at least the other door hadn't joined it, right?

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

School, however, was over by the time I returned.

I walked to my locker, grabbed what I needed, and left quietly ignoring the stares of what few mortals remained.

However, my quiet exit was ruined when I saw the figure leaning silently on my car.

Rolling my eyes, I strode past him, opening my car door. "Hello, Edward."

I dropped my books in the back seat, placed the keys carefully in the ignition, and began to back out of the lot.

Only to see a tall, handsome, familiar body filling my passenger seat.

"Get out, Edward," I said, doing my very best to focus my eyes on the steering wheel. It was easier to hate him when not being attacked by his ravishing beauty.

"Bella." His voice was the same as it had ever been, offering a bit of home... a home I had long since left behind.

"Get out, Edward."

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"Because you are currently irritating the hell out of me. Now, get out of my car, before I remove you."

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"You couldn't."

There was something in his tone that made me swing my eyes to his, topaz meeting topaz. "Try me."

If I had been human, I would have blushed. I would have stopped breathing, at least for a few moments. My heart would have slowed, even stopped, for a second. And I would have done anything to make him love me again.

But I wasn't human. I didn't blush. I didn't really have to breathe. My heart had pumped its last beat out over ten years ago. And being in love with him had led to my half-death.

It was ironic, really, and very cliché: a fatal love. Except it had been one sided by the time it became fatal, and that sort of ruined the effect.

His breath caught. "So you really are one of us. Was it right after we left, or...?"

"Yes, yes, and get out of my car."

"But Bella, Alice and the others have been dying to see you again!"

_Alice._ Her name caught in my throat, and I remained silent for a moment. Edward I could hate. It was his fault, all his fault. But Alice...

Still, I hid my moment of insecurity behind my cynical banter. "Yeah, well, they're dead already. Just like me. It's a tad to late to save them now. So get. Out. Of. My. Car."

"Bella... I wanted to tell you... about us..."

Us. I knew what he wanted to say. Edward was making sure I knew we were over. That we would go back to being strangers, to being completely single.

And that was just fine with me.

"Don't worry, Edward. I'm over 'us.' It was a human thing; just a phase I've grown out of."

And then I unlocked his door, opened it, and deposited him on the ground.

I didn't wait to see him stand up. I was gone by then, taking pleasure in watching my speed raise. 70...80...90...

Unfortunately, I knew what would make me happiest.

It was sitting in a school parking lot, looking after my car dazedly.

And I couldn't go near it without risking every human within a ten mile radius.

So instead, I sped home, pretending to be happy. I lied to myself: told myself I was happy, really, really happy, being alone in a fast car.

It's too bad I was never much of a liar.

O0o0o0o0o0

The great part of having a family full of vampires is that they know when you need time alone.

So I wasn't especially surprised when I found the house vacant.

I smiled, swinging off my bag and rushing to my room.

And only then could I exhale.

It was very much _my _room.

The walls were topaz in color, with a golden sheen placed over top to make it shine. A computer occupied the mahogany desk, next to my phone and to out-dated tickets to Florida.

One wall was covered entirely in books: old, new, and somewhere in between.

I walked to my other wall, the one that held my brown-leather couch and bed.

I wasn't capable of sleep, true, but it didn't reduce the elegance the bed brought to the room. The wooden frame was painted gold, and brown silk sheets covered the bed.

I sat on it, turning to my bed side table. There were all my familiar items: my clock, C.D. Player, and the C.D. case that had always sat there, empty.

I pressed play on the ancient machine, listening to the familiar strands of music.

Edward's music had always calmed me. _Edward still loved me when he wrote this... so why am I keeping it? It's like hanging on to a sock your ex-boyfriend left at your place. Or, rather, an extremely beautiful sock that he made himself..._

With a small frown, I removed the C.D. and threw it into my garbage.

And then, as I had done so many times before, I pulled it out of the empty can and placed it back in the wheezing old machine, listening.

I turned my mind to the events of the day.

_Edward and the Cullens are here, _I thought, flipping over to my back.

_Alice... I'm glad she's around. I missed her._

_Jasper... well, the same goes for him. Maybe he can help me so I don't lose my shields._

_Emmett... was always something of a big brother to me. I'm glad he's come back._

_Rosalie... well, she never liked me anyway. This might get interesting..._

_Carlisle and Esme... it will be good to see them._

_And Edward. Oh god, this is a big deal._

_How do I feel about him? Well, I'm fairly sure I don't love him anymore, but he is so damn hard to hate. _

_How does he feel about me? Like leaving didn't clear it up..._

_And what the hell am I going to do? Switch my schedule? Not enough._

Knowing the thought would plague me all night, I did what any reasonable vampire would do.

I set a shield around my conscious mind, one that would last for twelve hours.

And that, reader, is what I like to call sleep.

**Poor Edward! Because we all know he still loves her, but she misunderstands him... plus he was always convinced that, as a human, she could never love him for eternity... and now Bella made him think he was right... not to mention that he will probably blame himself.**

**Well, I'm getting there. Give me a few more chapters.**

** I'm writing a companion story to this, by the way. It will be called "The Blood Singer." It's basically what happens to Jacob after Bella is turned. His pack has been destroyed, and he's wandering aimlessly, when suddenly he stumbles onto a huge coven with some seriously evil plans... and has to protect a human girl who reminds him way too much of Bella. Why am I writing this? Because Jacob deserves a happy ending. Please, look out for this story in the near future!  
**

**Periwinkle, FYI, is thinking of starting his own business. Three cheers for Periwinkle!!!**

**Lotsa love to anyone who reviews. Adieu!**

**No Flames!!!**


	4. Forgiving, forgetting, and falling down

**Before this chapter starts, I need to clear one thing up. The reason why Bella knows what was going on at any specific moment in time is because she was filled in afterwards. So, if she says, "I didn't know, but Edward was..." it's because Alice told her later on. I won't be using EPOV in my story, so this is my way of avoiding it and still explaining about Edward.**

**Just to make that clear and simple :).**

**Now, after much delay (still don't own Twilight, so please don't sue), let the chapter begin!**

I didn't know it, but while I was sleeping, Edward was returning to his house over a mile away.

He drove slowly, by vampire standards—as a human, speeds like that would make me screech and yell at him to slow down. But he was lagging a little at 95, thinking.

The drive to his house was short—he was closer to the school than I was.

Finally he reached home, sighing. His car was parked in a second, and he was out of it even faster than that. And while his family appreciated that he needed space, his siblings had never known when to keep to themselves.

So Jasper blocking his entrance wasn't very surprising. The younger vampire leaned across the door frame of his new home, forbidding entrance as effectively as an enormous boulder might. "Hey, Edward," he said, meeting his brother's eyes. "Do both of us a favor and tell me what's going on."

Edward paused, then shook his head. "None of your business."

"You know it is—your emotions are running rampant, Edward. Either you get them under control or we might both explode."

"That's wonderful, Jasper. Now, get out of my way."

"Either you tell me, or you just know Alice will worm it out of you. At least my way doesn't end in possible humiliation."

"Yes, but it will end in you getting thrown half-way across the street if you don't move. Step away from the door, Jasper. I want to get in."

Jasper sighed and removed himself swiftly from the door. He knew when Edward was telling the truth, and he knew that Edward was annoyed enough to let it out on him. "Have it your way. You're going to your room to brood, I suppose?"

Edward nodded, pushing past his brother to ascend the stairs.

"Alice will be up shortly."

That comment Edward chose to ignore—instead, he put on a burst of speed which allowed him to reach his door, open it, and move inside in seconds. He locked it carefully, throwing his bag lightly to the ground before collapsing on his bed—the one he had bought because it reminded him of me.

Still, even though he was out of hearing range, the thoughts of his siblings still flowed into his mind. Edward usually didn't like intruding on their privacy, but that day it seemed rather like they were invading his.

Emmett, who had never learned to block his thoughts properly—and never really thought about anything worth hiding—was downstairs, yelling mentally about some video game. Edward probed the edges of his thoughts to make sure everything was fine, then, assured of that fact, moved on.

Carlisle was in his study working, though he muttered a mental hello when he felt Edward's skill.

Esme, on the other hand, remained ignorant of Edward. She was oblivious—thoughts focused entirely on what she should buy to make human food. The neighbors were, according to Alice, going to throw them a welcome party, and it would seem a bit odd if Esme had no food at all.

Alice was in her room, listening to music as she danced around her walk-in closet. _Hello, Edward. According to Jas, you're in need of a pick-me-up. Just give me a minute to finish here, okay?_

Edward planned to do just that—he withdrew his thoughts, reveling in the mental and actual silence. He didn't want to search Jasper's thoughts—from what Jasper had been saying, they were probably telling him to talk to Alice.

This was proved true when Jasper called out to Edward mentally. _Edward, you're sulking. _Jasper's mind-voice, which was usually carefully stifled and controlled, was being broadcasted in his direction. _You could just tell me, you know. Or Alice, for that matter._

Jasper wasn't usually the pushy type, which just proved how worried he was. Sighing, Edward reined in his feelings carefully, hiding them from Jasper's view. That was the best he could do to to reassure his brother that he was fine.

Fortunately, Jasper couldn't hear Edward's thoughts, which were at that moment chaotic. Questions revolved in his head—mostly about me—and he sighed again, pushing those back as well. He focused his attention once more on Jasper's thoughts.

_Not good enough, Edward. I know you're good at concealing what you feel—that doesn't mean you aren't feeling it. Hang on. I'll be sending Alice up in a second._

And when a vampire says someone will be there in a second, they mean it. Edward had barely drawn one habitual-breath by the time Alice reached his door.

_Let me in, Edward, _she called mentally, not wanting to alert the rest of the family members. _Because either you come and do it willingly, or I break down your door. I am not pleased about being interrupted. Now, don't make a scene out of this. Unlock your lock, or you'll be paying for a new one shortly._

Edward hesitated for a few last moments before rising and unlocking the door. One swift movement carried him back to his bed, where he stopped for a moment.

Alice, on the other hand, entered at a human speed. She closed the door behind her anyway, clicking the lock. "I don't know why we have locks," she mused as she walked to his couch. "It's not like they keep anyone but humans out, anyway, and we would notice them coming."

Edward eyed her sarcastically. "Is this why you came to bother me? To rant about the merits of locks?"

"No. I came because Jasper asked me to. Now, either you can tell me what's going on, or you can forget about ever getting your couch back again." Her hand ran over the sofa tauntingly, and she smiled. "Your choice."

"Can't you see it anyway?"

Alice frowned. "I'm deliberately ignoring visions of you right now so you have a chance to tell me yourself."

After contemplating silently for a few minutes, Edward whispered to her. "Keep your half of the conversation mental. I don't need the entire family to hear this yet."

Puzzled, she complied. _Alright. Now, spill._

Even more quietly, he uttered three words. "Bella is back."

It took all of Alice's concentration to keep her scream mental. _That's wonderful, Edward. I thought she was dead! Is she your teacher, or something? How long have you known for? How did find her?_

"One question at a time. She isn't my teacher, I found out today, and she was in my classes."

_So was she a guest speaker, or something? _Alice frowned. _You're confusing me, Edward._

"No... listen, Alice. You were right when you thought she was dead."

_Bella's dead body showed up in your class? _Alice pursed her lips, gazing at him. _Edward, you aren't making any sense._

"You know what I'm saying, Alice. Bella isn't alive, but she isn't as dead as we thought she was."

Alice's eyes narrowed. _When?_

"I don't know. She saw me, and then she stormed out of class and took off."

_Who, then?_

"Again, I don't know. I sensed—when I really looked for it, after she got mad at me—the presence of another coven. They might have turned her, or she might have joined them afterwards."

_I get why this would make you emotional, Edward. But you don't seem happy to me._

"She doesn't love me anymore, Alice." His voice was quiet, calm, and bereft of all emotion: empty. "She told me it was just a mortal thing. I told her you all wanted to see her... she kicked me out of her car and drove off."

_And you got all depressed over that?_

"What did you want me to do? Jump for joy because the love of my immortal life hates me?"

_She doesn't hate you, Edward._

"You didn't see how she acted, Alice."

Alice rolled her eyes. _Boys. What will we do with you? _She looked at him. _Listen, Edward. Bella just saw you after ten years. Now, you left her—_a pang passed through him, visible on his face—_sorry, Edward, but it's the truth. You left her. And now she's seeing you again. Thing is, she's changed—she's a vampire, she's part of a coven, and she's afraid that changes things between you two. Beyond that, even, she thinks that you leaving meant that you didn't love her. She assumes that telling you it's __over will make you feel better, even if it makes her feel worse._

"And the point of that lovely rant was...?" 

_That if you don't give up, and you just keep talking to her, eventually she'll get over it and fall in love with you again._

"I'm not so sure about that, Alice."

_You're arguing about your future with a seer, Edward._

"I thought you were ignoring visions about me."

_I lied_, she sang at him happily.

He nearly smiled at the childish behavior, then stopped, running a hand through his hair. "Your visions aren't always right, Alice."

She sighed. _Just talk to her, okay? You'll see. You just need to trust me._

And with that, his couch was vacated and his door was swinging shut, Alice nowhere in sight.

His sigh was repeated one last time in the silence of his room. _Trust you, Alice?_

Then he smiled. _Not like I have much of a choice._

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I would have remained unconscious, had I had even a hint of a choice in the matter. However, when your youngest vampiric sister decides to pounce you awake, you lose all options but to get up and move.

And so it was that I woke up under the full weight of my sister Merry. Which, while I love the girl dearly, is not the best way to wake up.

"Bella," she said, acting as though pouncing me maniacally was normal (sadly, it was), "we have school."

With a groan, I knocked her off and rolled over, pulling my pillow tightly over my head. "School. One more reason to _not_ wake up."

I couldn't see Merry's face, but I could picture her expression—puzzled, due to my lack of explanations. "Why do you hate it so much?"

"So not the right time for this," I muttered, pretending that I could fall asleep again.

"I'm going to get Chris and make him tell me, if you don't." Her voice had shifted to a childish pout, and she poked me gently in the side.

I merely groaned again, trying to summon a shield that would let me sleep through her insanity.

"Bells, we can't go to school without you," Merry said, seemingly more mature. "Nate said that it's too dangerous unless you go. So please. I never got to finish high school, Bella. Please, just this once, for me."

"I didn't finish high school either," I protested, though I woke up just the littlest bit. "And you can go without me."

"But what if we murder the entire student body or something like that?"

"I don't care, Mer. Massacre the student body if it makes you happy. Hell, you can take down the whole town if you'll just get out of my room."

"You're just saying that," Merry said, tugging on my pillow.

I ignored her.

"Fine. I didn't want to have to do this... but I'm calling in Angel to screw with your room's weather."

_That_ got me awake. The last time Angel had been called in to wake me, I'd spent two weeks drying everything out. Not to mention how hard it is to ignore being smacked by hail.

I bolted up, last traces of my shields gone. "Don't. I'm up. I'm up. I promise. Don't call the Weather Witch in here."

"Heard that," Angel's voice called from the hallway.

"Meant you to," I retorted, stepping carefully out of bed. Within three steps I had picked out clothes and brushed my teeth—it was really more of a habit than a necessity, because the natural acids of vampiric teeth burn away dirt. My hair was fine, which was good because I didn't have time to shower.

By the time I was ready, my siblings were already waiting in the car. Not even bothering to restrain myself, I ran to the car—I was in the mood to go fast.

In one swift movement, I threw open my car door and slid inside, closing it carefully.

"We're running late," Chris complained, almost provoking me.

A smile played across my face, and I turned the keys in the ignition. "Buckle up, kids," I said mockingly, noting their smiles. "I'm in the mood to race."

I revved the car loudly, then threw it into reverse and backed it out of the driveway.

"Race against what?" Angel asked.

"Who cares?"

And with that we were away, flying down the road at about 140 miles per hour.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Of course, being the brilliant little vampire that I was, I forgot that driving quickly would get me to school quickly. What can I say—I'm not a morning person.

It was cloudy, as it had been for the last 50 days—we had made Angel practice with the weather of New York before even moving here, so that we could stay in a formerly sunny place with no worries.

And so, on a dark, nasty day, I arrived at school early.

Already knowing how terrible my day was going to be, I slid my car into one of the available spaces. Rather than being late, we were about fifteen minutes early.

I stepped out of the car, checking my shields carefully. The school was too far for us to just use Nate's power, although we could rely on it every once in a while.

Noting that my shields had become significantly more intact than they had been a day before, I hummed happily.

"Um, Bells... why are you humming?" Angel asked absently, already double-checking her trig homework.

"Do you have something against humming?" I asked, sticking my tongue out at her immaturely.

"Oh, get to class, the both of you," Chris said, ruffling Angel's hair before heading off towards his own class.

"Classes don't start for another fifteen minutes," I reminded his receding back.

"Good. So we get there early, and none of us get in _more_ trouble." He stopped and turned, eying me carefully, though the effect was somewhat destroyed by the laughter in his eyes. "I've heard a few interesting things about you, Isabella Marie Tyson Swan, and I have to say that I'm proud. Didn't think you had it in you."

"Go get to class, Chris," I said, rolling my eyes.

And, just so I didn't look like too much of a hypocrite, I followed my own advice.

English was easier to find the second time around, and the door was partially open when I reached it. Grasping the handle, I tugged the door open. "Hello? Mrs. Carter?"

"She's here, but she had to go get something. You can come in, though."

My shields flickered at the sight of the boy in front of me. Bronze hair, topaz eyes...

From behind my weakened shields, I noticed Chris checking carefully—he had obviously noticed my shields slipping, something I hadn't thought he could do. _I'm okay,_ I thought at him.

Raising my shields again, I stepped forward to place my books on my desk. Safe from Chris's probe, I finished the thought. _I think..._

"Hello, Edward," I said cordially, trying to be civil. "What are you doing in my English class?"

"It's my English class too, you know," he said, looking at me with smiling eyes. "I just came in late yesterday."

"Which basically means," I paraphrased, slipping into my chair, "that you switched your entire schedule to match mine as well."

"Pretty much," he responded, grinning at me crookedly.

A sensation of loss lanced through me for a moment, but I denied it. Once I could trust my composure, I raised my eyes to meet his. "Listen, Edward," I said quietly. "I can't be around you."

He opened his mouth to protest, but I silenced him with a finger. "Edward, you've seen how young my family is. Merry hasn't even lost all of the violet in her eyes—none of us have been turned for more than ten years."

He frowned at that. "But releasing such young ones in a human community..."

"Is dangerous, I know. But," I paused, deciding how much to tell him, "I have this... ability. And I'm not telling you everything that happens, but so long as I stay unemotional, I can keep them from being hungry... amongst other things."

Perceptive as ever, Edward caught the key word in my statement. "Unemotional."

Frowning at his deadpan, I realized my mistake. "I'm not in love with you or anything. You don't need to worry about that. I wouldn't burden you twice." There was a pause, and I took the silence as a chance to stare at my shoelaces. Then, before Edward could speak, I continued. "But... Edward, I hated you... for a very long time, in human terms." I swung my eyes up to meet his. "And sometimes that hatred flares up a bit, and I... lose my shields."

"So, the way it works," Edward said, voice cold, "is that being around me puts everyone else in danger."

"Yes," I said lightly, glad he was understanding.

"Because you hate me."

This time, I noticed the hurt in his voice. "Just a little, Edward, and only sometimes."

"Oh, only _sometimes_. Glad you cleared _that_ up." The sarcasm in his voice sounded almost defensive.

Sighing, I lurched out of my seat and jumped to the desk next to him. Reflex was the only thing that made me slow it to mortal speed—had anyone been watching, I would have just looked very, very athletic.

And reflex continued to guide me, making me reach out impulsively. I brushed the side of his cheek just once with my hand, then realized what I had done and pulled it away. "Listen, Edward. You left me, and I... well, you know. And you never even properly apologized. So excuse me for resenting you a bit."

"Bella..." his voice was soft, and I knew that if my heart was still beating it would have been racing. Which was really, really going to be an issue, considering that I knew everything between us had ended. "If I apologized now, would it change anything?"

"Maybe," I admitted grudgingly, hating how easily I was willing to forgive him.

"Well then. I think I know what I have to do." This time he leaped out of his seat, though he didn't go far. Instead he landed gently with one knee bent, and his hand was clasping mine—how that had happened was beyond me.

"Isabella Marie Swan," he began dramatically.

"Isabella Marie Tyson Swan," I corrected, trying to remember why I had hated him in the first place. Oh right. The whole becoming-vampire-against-my-will thing. Yeah, that might do it.

"Isabella Marie Tyson Swan," he parroted, giving me an impatient look. "I would like to apologize for leaving you in Forks. I would like to apologize for everything that happened while I was away. And I would like to apologize for making such a scene yesterday."

"I was the one making a scene," I said, assuming blame like I had as a human.

"Nevertheless, I wasn't mature enough to just let you go. As such, I am apologizing for that too." His lips brushed over my knuckles, feather-light and cold.

I spun away, wrenching my fingers from his grasp. The shocked, hurt look on his face was familiar, somehow, but it wasn't an expression I'd seen on his face.

But I didn't have time to dwell on that. Instead, I forced my focus internally, checking the status of my shields. They were, to my relief, unbroken—they had wavered slightly, but not enough to be dangerous. Merry, Chris, Angel, and myself... every shield that mattered pulsed normally.

When I looked up, Edward's expression was unchanged. Pain, and confusion at the broken contact. Much like my own face had been ten years previously, when Edward pulled away at the meadow.

Edward had obviously noted the similarity as well. "Interesting role reversal," he said, managing a fake chuckle.

With a sigh, I walked back towards him. "Edward. I'm sorry."

"I thought I was the one apologizing," he retorted, though it was a weak reply. Even someone like me, who couldn't read minds or emotions, could clearly see what he was thinking—Edward missed the old, human me.

"And it was a lovely apology," I said, trying to appease him.

"But it doesn't change anything," he confirmed in the same dead tone he'd used before.

"It does... and it doesn't," I answered sheepishly. "That wasn't anger, Edward. It isn't only hatred that makes my shields fall."

It took me a moment to realize that I had been flirting with Edward. Which was a bad sign for my attempted grudge, and an even worse one for my whole I-don't-love-you-anymore attitude.

I had thought, the night before, that I didn't love him. And I had been right—he hadn't earned my love back just yet.

But, at the least, he had earned my friendship. This was Edward—funny, and handsome, and protective, and reliable, and... the list could go on and on. He made me happy, and if I had to deal with a little heartbreak to deserve that happiness, then I could deal with heartbreak.

Besides, I had learned long before that staying angry at Edward was outside my range of skills.

Then again, there was no way I was going to ever tell him that either.

Edward however, caught the gist of my accidental-flirtations. "Good to know." Suddenly the humor left his voice, and he was staring up at me seriously—he was still on the floor, otherwise this wouldn't be possible. "Bella... I didn't mean to leave you."

Even if I wasn't mad at him anymore, that was a bit idiotic. "Oh, right. You left me accidentally. You were trying to say, 'Bella, will you marry me?' and you just screwed up the wording a little." Kick-ass vamped out Bella was back, thank god. I was tired of acting human. "Don't toy with me, Edward."

"I'm not toying with you, Bella. I left you for your own safety."

The more human Bella—here on in called Good Bella, because I'm tired of writing the extra letters—would have been annoyed, yes, but probably too busy becoming putty in his hands to do anything about it. The new-and-improved Bella (Bad Bella), however, couldn't just let it go. "What sort of lame reason is that?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, sounding rather idiotic.

"I mean that leaving me behind had sort of fatal side effects, Edward. I would have been safer with you, and you knew it. So the real reason you left is that you stopped loving me, right?"

"Bella..." Again, he nearly whispered my name, and again I found myself forgetting my anger. "I didn't... I never..."

And that was it. One whispered sentence fragment was all it took to tame me. Bad Bella melted away instantly, leaving only Good Bella behind.

I was aware of the fact that my eyes were sliding back into a familiar stare. I was aware of the fact that I was smiling dazedly. My thoughts were a mantra..._ Edward didn't want to leave me because he still loves me. Edward didn't want to leave me because he still loves me._

Now, I don't know if this holds for everyone, but that wasn't a good sign. I wasn't not supposed to get excited to the level of a mantra if I didn't love the guy. Which I didn't.

Suddenly, I realized two things.

One, Edward was far, far too easy to love. So, chances were, I would have to fight to stay out of love with him. I'd just started our friendship again, and I was already falling for him. _Again_. Damn.

Two, I was about a half-second away from losing my shields.

Fortunately for the humans in the area, Mrs. Carter took that opportunity to reappear. She grunted from the door frame, shattering the magic of the moment.

I jumped back, ripping my hands from his again. There she was—the munchkin-sized sadist I called a teacher, looking at us mockingly. For about a split second, I nearly hugged the woman.

"Flirt outside of class," she said simply, moving to her desk. She then moved back to resolutely ignoring us.

Breathing deeply, I moved back to my seat. The woman had redeemed herself in my eyes—for now, at least—and I was determined to behave.

Unfolding, he scooped up his books and deposited them on the desk next to mine. It appeared he was going to relocate Gabriella. I nearly laughed, picturing her reaction.

"Bella," Edward plowed onwards. "You have to believe me."

At that exact moment, the bell rang. Students who had been congregated in the hallways moved into the room, muttering quietly to their friends.

As expected, Gabriella marched to her seat. Upon finding it filled, she started her babble. "Hey,whatareyoudoinginmyseat?"

Edward turned, silently, and focused his eyes on her—eyes that were, I noticed purposefully dazzling. Seems like he finally got the hang of using that trick consciously.

"Oh,wow,hottiemuch? Right,sorry,havetheseat,I'mmoving now."

With that she turned, marched in the other direction, and collapsed into an empty seat hyperventilating.

What had I said about today being a bad day? It seemed like the best day ever, actually. Luck seemed to be on my side in huge amounts, and my shields were up, and I wouldn't have to suffer through Gabriella for another day. I could dance, sing...

Instead, I turned to Edward. "Just friends," I said quietly, aware that he could hear me perfectly. "Unless you want everyone here to die."

On that cheerful note, class began.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Once again, lunch was a wonderful escape for me. I managed to lose Edward somewhere—because maybe he was my friend, but there was a right way and a wrong way to introduce him to my family. Lunch just didn't seem to follow the lines of the right way.

Or, actually, I doubt I lost Edward. I wasn't all that subtle, really. More likely he had just caught on and gone to eat somewhere else.

Either way, I "ate" silently with my siblings for the whole period, wondering what I had gotten myself into with the whole Edward-friendship thing.

And then the bell rang.

Grumbling slightly, I stood and threw out my props before moving to the next class.

Edward was waiting.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

By the time I got to science class, I was mildly panicking.

Bad Bella had yet to reappear. Which wasn't entirely unusual, but was becoming annoying. After all, when I was being Good Bella—acting sympathetic and human instead of just being myself—I had the tendency to fall back onto bad habits.

Literally fall back onto. Because apparently some odd combination of Edward's presence and Bad Bella's lack of presence had stripped me of my new-found coordination.

Thanks to a year of practice, Edward was used to catching me. So, at the very least, I was spared the humiliation of taking a nose-dive into the floor around my classmates.

I was not, however, spared the humiliation of Edward's gloating. "Bella, if being a vampire can't make you coordinated, I don't think you have any hope."

"Oh shut up," I said quietly. "I'm perfectly coordinated when you aren't around."

Still chuckling, he led me into the science room.

Which was where this whole section started, bringing us in one big circle. Sorry about that, by the way—I'm just a vampire, not a professional author.

But anyway. Science. Panicking. Joy.

The cause of this panic?

My (insane) science teacher had received a notice from the principal that there was a community blood drive going on in a week or so. At the start of class, he handed us copies of this notice, as well as little white cards and metal objects. Thin, tri-pronged, _pointy_ metal objects.

At first, I felt something almost like nostalgia. I mean, this had been an unpleasant subject for me as a human, and it still was. It wasn't so much the blood... or yes, it was, but it wasn't a phobia or something. It was the fact that if every mortal here poked their fingers with little metal prongs and bled temptingly in my direction, I was going to lose it.

And then nostalgia was replaced by panic, thus ending our second little circle and getting us back on track.

I turned furiously to see Edward, only to realize that he hadn't had any warning either. And while he had a hundred years more practice than me, and had a much higher tolerance of blood, I could see that he was panicked as well.

"What are we going to do?" I hissed furiously, wide-eyed. "Edward, I'm terrible at not breathing. I haven't learned how to do it yet. And when I breath, I'm going to drop my shields, and then my siblings will be hungry too..."

He thought quickly, then responded, "Faint."

"What?"

"Bella, start fainting now."

"Why?"

"Do you really want to start a bloodbath here?"

"No." I sighed, then did as Edward suggested. Resting my head on my desk, I tried to conjure the memory of passing out as a human. I had been pale, sweaty, dizzy—I was already pale, and panic had made me slightly dizzy, though sweat was beyond me. I only hoped it was convincing.

Fortunately, it worked.

"Bella, are you okay?" It was Gabriella's voice that spoke, though she seemed thoughtful rather than gushing. There was a sickly sweet tone to her voice—she sounded like a child who had a worth-while secret. Almost gloating. I ignored it however, deciding it was nerves, then decided the lack of gush in her voice was a welcome change.

"No," I muttered, trying to sound miserable.

"Mr. Grey, I think Bella needs to go to the nurse." This time Edward spoke.

The teacher agreed after a mere moment. "Can you take her there, um..."

"Edward Cullen, sir."

"Edward, please take Isabella to the nurse."

Within moments, I found myself being lifted in Edward's arms—I made my body go limp for a while. Eyes still closed, I listened carefully. Soon the sounds of mortals quieted down, and I could hear a door swing open.

Edward put me down on what felt like a leather seat. "You can open your eyes now, Bella."

I did, noting that we were inside his car. "Thank god. I thought I was going to lose my shields for a second."

He sat in the driver's seat, watching me. "You keep calling them your shields. Would you like to explain?"

"No," I said, making it sound final. Then I stretched. "I would, however, like to get out of here."

"We still have a period left, Bella," Edward reminded me calmly.

"We rushed out of Parson's class yesterday, Edward, and he didn't care." I smiled. "I just feel like breaking a few rules right now."

Ah, Bad Bella, how nice to see you again.

My coordination was back too. And yes, I realize my lack of coordination had nothing to do with science, but... okay, I'm trying to jump ahead. Just remember it, okay?

Edward was amused by my apparent change in attitude. "Who are you and what have you done with Bella?"

I smiled right back almost flirtatiously, though I was carefully sticking to the 'friends only' rule. "Don't tell me you've never broken a rule before."

The corner of his mouth tugged upwards into my favorite crooked smile. "Fine then. Where, pray tell, do you want to go?"

My mind moved back to a fragment of the previous day's conversation. "I want to see Alice," I said suddenly missing the shopping-addicted vampire.

"Alice is in school, Bella," Edward pointed out, still smiling.

"Alright... I want to see your house. And when Alice comes home, I'll see her."

"Fair enough," he said, putting the car into reverse. "Your wish is my command, milady."

As he steered around parked vehicles, I dropped my shields around Chris's probe momentarily. _Chris, _I thought at him_, tell the others I'm hanging out with an old friend. It isn't dangerous, but I might be a while. See you later, okay?_

Raising my shields again, I sat contentedly in my seat and watched as Edward gradually gained speed. A quick swerve around a Jeep, then we were racing out of the parking lot.

_It's the second time in two days,_ I mused,_ that I've gone speeding away from this lot._

_And,_ a little controversial piece of my mind added, _it's the first time you've enjoyed it._

**Okay, so, this is a nice long chapter to make up for forgetting to post. **

**So, I want the opinions of anyone still bothering to read. Is it worth continuing? If it isn't, then I'll be working mostly on my Bones and Bleach fics... if it is, then I'll work on this one.**

**Anyway, Periwinkle is doing very well. He is now the proud owner of Periwinkle Inc., which is a small company as of the moment. However, your reviews will help him expand his company...**

**One more thing—a huge thanks goes to bibliocrazed, without whom this chapter might not have happened. I hope the chapter met your expectations, and I hope you keep on reminding me to write. :)**

**Review, but remember: no flames.**


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